What motivated me to do this programme?
Watching a colleague lose weight and feeling envious about it was the start, also being surrounded by slim colleagues who ate salad and celery sticks was making me bitter and twisted so instead I was reaching for the biscuit jar hence emotional eating and then hating on myself after it.
I was at a point where I knew I needed help to lose my weight, and my colleague encouraged me to weigh myself to kick me into gear as I was procrastinating. I WAS IN THE "BUT FOOD IS MY HAPPY PLACE IT MAKES ME FEEL HAPPY WHAT WILL I DO IF I CAN’T EAT NICE YUMMY FOOD zone. So, those where the demons in my head at the time (sabotaging), but, the actual TRUTH WAS I WAS SCARED!!!!! ....
I gave in after much encouragement one night at work and hopped on the ward scales and when the numbers came up I was in shock, it plunged me into a dark place, I’d been overweight since having my babies one of which weighed in at 5kgs but I knew I could no longer blame the baby, he’s now a strapping rugby playing 20yr old now!
After my shock weigh in at work I went to my GP the very next morning while still in shock, mainly to fess up and make myself accountable, the decision was made I needed to do something. I just did not know what where or how this was going to come about. At this point I knew I was mentally ready.
I asked my colleague who was losing weight, what she was doing and she sent me a message about PHATT. What made me decide on PHATT was the mentor factor, I knew I needed a mentor, someone I was accountable to........... I consider myself to be a strong person but I just knew that I needed help here at this point as my weight was 116kg. I sat back for a few weeks and watched the pages, the sceptic in me came out but it didn’t take long for me to see this could be a game changer.
I had been to a wedding and felt fat and frumpy trying to hide behind people or stand side on to try and look ok. When the photos came back I cried, actually I’ve thrown them away some were expensive or gifts on canvas but I didn’t care. Everything fat has gone, clothes and photos with me in them. The other motivator was I love clothes and I had no nice ones, I was sick of going with my skinny friends to fancy shops, trying to avoid the mirrors and being ignored by staff. I was ready alright..............PHATT here I come.
Have I been successful?
YES, it’s been a slow road for me but I’m not complaining, the limit on my water intake due to a medical issue has slowed me down but I’m still plodding along I’ve lost 26.3 kgs with a few breaks of 10days one for surgery and twice I’ve been away. I want to lose another 10kg ideally, it works if you stick to it and prep and planing is my main key, making my chicken balls for the week etc. Keeping my head in it is huge, mentally if practice self talking and fighting my food demons and silencing my critics I’m fine. I do have to resist temptation as we all do my sweet tooth cries to me a lot and at times I will test it by taking sweet stuff in to work or baking something to harden my resolve as I love the feeling of winning by resisting YESSSSSSSSS fist pump I did not give in to my inner voices and demons so that means I won!!!!!! So that is the only hard part personally.
What differences have I noticed?
This is my favourite part, I feel clean inside, I now have control over what I put in my mouth, my confidence has soared, I like myself again, I wear nice clothes, I had to go and buy a belt as my jeans were falling down, I have gone down from XXL to XL, to L in my uniform and I’m about to go to M. I fit better in a plane seat, I sleep like a baby, I no longer look toxic (puffy face), and people approach me more often for example the fancy shop I used to go to with my skinny friend - well the ladies in there have now decided they like me and I’m ok to talk to, yeah I fit the clothes now that’s why but I guess but no way I’m ever spending my hard earned money in you’re shop because I don’t really like this as you’ve never ever even acknowledged me (so what was wrong with me before) - oh I was fat that’s right.
I get attention in a positive way compliments all the time, this has taken a while to get used to, at first I was shy and self aware / conscious about people looking at me now I like it!!!!! My mental state as in the way I see myself improved because now I know I can succeed in something, I have not failed, I can achieve - that in itself has changed my life, I’ve made decisions I could never make before in a place of weakness. I HAVE WON